In about a month time I’ll be 26… Which means that from now on I will tick the 25 + box, or even worse the 25 to 40 box… Getting older doesn’t really bother me. Wait. It does actually!

It terrifies me.

The other day, during my nightmarish trip back from France I was reading Cosmopolitan. Cosmopolitan, a magazine aiming at young women between 18 and 25 and of which my 23-year old colleague tells me: “Oh, I wasn’t even reading Cosmopolitan anymore at University..!” Ouch. So I was reading it and came across an article I really liked:

Am I really showing my age?

At what time are we stopping to be a young adult to just become an adult? I think it is more an attitude problem, you can be 16, 26, 29, 54, 76, you are old when:

• You spell all the worlds in a text message.
• You have to tick the 25 + box in every form you have to fill. And it hurts.
• When you pretend you are 22 for a laugh, and people really laugh.
• There are more and more people younger than you.
• Your best friend got married/pregnant/divorced.
• You don’t know who Miley Cirus is.
• The guys in the streets don’t say to you anymore: “Psst, shit, weed, x,..” when you walk by.
• Johnny Depp is a mature man.
• You”re too old to become top model, singer, ballet dancer or star.
• Your friends are all in serious relationships.
• So are you.
• You find babies cute.
• You think that babies who cry are moving.
• You express personal opinions in a plural: “Sweety and I, we love the X factor”. “Sweety and I, we don’t like George Bush.”
• And when he is there, you add: “don’t you Sweety?”
• You agree with him very often.
• When you go out from the lift, men let you go first.
• When you take the Tube, youths get up and give you their seat.
• You don’t know when are the school holidays.
• You say “youths” instead of “teenagers”.
• You think youths are very noisy.
• Dinner with friends have replaced going out and partying till the end of the night.
• When you’re asked for a last drink at midnight, you answer: “It’s not very sensible, I have a meeting/school run tomorrow morning.”
• In night clubs you find the music very loud whereas the DJ hasn’t arrived yet.
• The day after a night out you have rings under your eyes.
• The day after a night out, you stay home in pyjamas with herbal tea.
• You don’t claim to be anti-beauty surgery anymore. You even think Demi Moore is very well maintained.
• You can’t lose weight by downing back three pots of Nutella anymore. Now you have to eat fish and vegetables.
• You know where to find the vegetables in the supermarket, you even know their names.
• Your fridge is full
• You’re not asked for your ID when you buy cigarettes or alcohol.
• You are flattered when they refuse to sell you alcohol when you don’t have your ID.
• Same applies for night clubs.
• You prefer hotels rather than camping, it’s more comfortable.
• You think about the future
• You think about your pension
• Your banker starts considering you as a potential client, not a potential thug.
• You think your mother is actually right.
• When your mother talks, you listen to her.
• Physically you look more and more like our mother.
• And morally too.
• You have a dishwasher.
• You think it’s a shame getting up at 1pm on a Sunday, it shortens the day too much.
• Bands we used to listen when we were young are either vintage, worshipped, split, or dead. Or the four at the same time, like Nirvana.
• You think it was better before.
• You are obsessed with your age.

I know it’s lame but I just can’t help it.

I love that shit!! here is a little treat for the weekend.

and another one:

Enjoy your weekend!

Let’s light the spirits up a bit.

A granny, a zebra cross and an impatient driver. Funny combination you think?

Well, not as funny as that video!

Why can’t everything be easy, understandable?

Why has everything to be so complicated and above all is it really worth all the hassle?

Why can’t a friend listen to you the same way you listen to her?

Why is the hole so deep and dark and cold?

Why isn’t your other one here, helping to pull you back up on your feet?

Why does it have to hurt so much and what if you were wrong?

What if you were just wasting our time, your effort, your strength, your joy, your soul and your freedom?

What if everything, life, love, death, eternity was just a joke, a big unamusing big joke?

What if you were alone?

What if you were giving up, would people notice, would he notice?

What if you were to stop pretending everything is ok and let the facade crumble? Would they sympathise with you, would they ignore you, would they ostracise you…?

What if you don’t care anymore?

What happens next? And if everything fails, would you be strong enough to start again?

You are weak and pathetic, a creep crawling in a big hole. A big dark cold hole. At the top the sun shines but it doesn’t reach you. There is no way out.

I have to say I’m pretty proud of myself. Not only I’m still posting to this blog very regularly, but it has been so for 1 YEAR!!! It’s my blog’s first birthday. I’m getting all emotional inside right now, but I’m proud and happy and wish this blog years and years of prosperity.

Yay me!

1 year in figures:

50 posts
8 categories
103 tags
21 comments
21 spams

3 Top Posts are:

Looking for the best excuse: “pull the perfect sickie” - Not very surprising, isn’t it?

Recipe 1: Crêpes* – My best success in the kitchen: crepes and waffles!

New Google Street View application – surfing on the actuality is what a good blog should do! (“a bit pretentious” you say? I say “yes, you’re right but it’s my Birthday!”)

So if I understand well, my average reader is a lazy work dodger, who eats crepes while spying on his / her neighbours. Ah, it’s always good to know. Now in a next post I could put all three concepts together and this will be a real hit!

Search engine terms used to arrive to my blog: obviously in relation with the Top Posts, it does make sense, so far.

A good year all in all!

Search	Views
something about london	108
crepe receipe	36
crepes receipe	26
google’s new street view application	20
biz speak	19
street view application	19
recipe for crepes	19
google street view application	18
sicky excuses	16
paris hilton	14
sickie excuses	12
there is something about london	11 – This would be my mother
google street application	10
pulling a sickie excuses	10

Please say goodbye to Horatio. He finally joined Padraig in Goldfish Heaven after three days spent in a painful agony. I was sad, but I’m sure he is much better where he is now.

I didn’t forget brave Horatio and pretty Padraig but after a few weeks, it was time to introduce Fyero to new goldfish.

It was for his own good.

Hence came Sergio (a completely white goldfish) and Harry (orange with large white spots), a bridge and a plastic aquatic plant. The first couple of days were tough for Fyero and he rejected both Sergio and Harry and spent his time hiding under the bridge.

Now a couple of weeks later the three of them get on very well together and everything is for the best in their tank-house.

Edit for the little curious: Horatio was named after Lieutenant Horatio Caine from CSI Miami. Padraig was named after Padraig Harrington, an Irish golfer. Fyero is named after the male love interest in the musical Wicked.

Sergio is named after Sergio Garcia, a Spanish golfer and Harry, well it’s a long story. I wanted to name my new orange goldfish: O’Hara – like Ronan O’Hara, an Irish rugby player I like. But I was absolutely forbidden to do so. As, somehow O’Hara reminds me of Prince Harry, the fish just became Harry – officially.

The other day I noticed quite unexpectedly a label on my underwear. They weren’t new, it wasn’t the first time I was putting them but God knows why I had never noticed before.

…

…

“Keep away from fire”

…

…

?!?!?!?!

…

…

I am sorry: do people still burn their underwear? Did I miss something?

Silly maybe but at least this unfortunate underwear story made my day! Yes. I giggled for at least 5min and it made me want to share my amusement with as many people as possible to the greater disbelief and slight worries of my English workmates.

What?

Really you don’t think it is funny?

Please think again. You are in the toilet, putting your knickers back up and then you see it: “Keep away from fire”!

.

.

No? still not? Well I guess it was funny on the spur of the moment.

Anyway if one day a nuclear war happens or a frozen wave like in the Day after tomorrow, I will remember to burn the furniture first, the knickers then.

… Or could she be?

My new best friend

She looks fun, doesn’t she?

Everything started when I read this article in The London Paper yesterday. And I thought: wait a minute, why not me? Ok I’m not a Brit, but could Paris Hilton be my best friend? I am sure she would love to have a Frenchy as a friend, I mean L.A. is full of Brits anyway, having a French friend is like getting a pair of Louboutin pumps 3 months before everybody else. Oooh I feel like I’m scoring a point there, I could convince her I’m sure.

I mean, she’s just a girl after all. A horribly spoiled, selfish, and self-centred bitch but still a human being.

For a start we’re both blond! Ahah, never underestimate the blond bond, people! Look at Nicole Ritchie: blond, Lindsay Lohan: blondish/redish, Mischa Barton: blond. Another point for me.

The only things I know how to cook properly are pies, I could definitely teach her:

My new best friend, Paris

And then we would make Pie Parties!! Wouhou!! How fun would that be!! Definitely another point for me there.

I could definitely teach her how to be a lady, and she would teach me how to be a slut: that’s true friendship when you exchange skills and share your core abilities..

She has a boyfriend, I do too (and he doesn’t fancy her, he says..), so we could exchange tips and confide in each other. That’s what true best friends do!

She says: I need a best pal who is hot, can keep up with me and won’t be a backstabber

Oh Paris I’m so glad we found each other, it is so me! I’m hot, I can keep up with you, don’t worry darling I am way smarter than you , and I am the most loyal friend you could have: you can stand me up, ignore me, out stage me, I will always be there for you, if you need me or my sensible advice…

Dear Paris we are meant to be together. I know it.

…

More seriously for those interested, she’s really looking for a Brit best friend, for more details, everything is on thelondonpaper.com website. There will be a TV show where contestants will live in a house and will have to fight to show their loyalty. Applicants must be between 18 and 28 and “genuinely want to be Paris Hilton’s new best friend“

My new best friend

…

You know what? I’m making fun of it, laughing, etc. but I don’t know who I am pitying the most: The fanatic people who are going to fight for the friendship of a ruthless heir? Or the ruthless heir herself which is so venal and corrupted that she would probably sell her soul to the devil for 10 more minutes of fame?

However I know who to blame for: Programme-makers, broadcasters, advertisers who decided once for all that people are cattle to be fed with crap and brainwashed until complete passivity. And don’t tell me, “offer follows demand”!! Producers don’t give a damn about what people actually want to see on TV!

Aah, I feel better having said what I thought

People, take care.

What do you do when you’re stressed or distressed or even depressed? I have a couple of methods, habits that usually help me going through hard time.

1 – Chocolate, I start with the obvious. It’s only suitable for slight distressed because the quantity of chocolate varies according to the size of the annoyance. No need, I assure you, for making yourself physically sick in addition with the breakdown.

1(bis) – Make a brownie. Not only you have the benefits of eating chocolate but while baking you set your mind to something different from the disturbance.

2 – Try that and get addicted: Bubbles. And the “manic mode” is even better!

3 – More bubbles with this game: Bubble Shooter. Quite satisfactory…

4 – Choose a hard and loud tune or CD and play it again and again, turn the volume as up as you possibly can, close your eyes and “feel the music”. Don’t laugh yet, it works.

5 – Once the brownie is done, put a large warm piece in a plate, sit down on the couch, switch the music off and put a DVD on.

My suggestions are: Star Wars (the first three, the old ones), Grease, Dirty Dancing, Mary Popins, The Lion King, X-Men or Charlie Angels.

6 – Take a bath and go to sleep.

And in the morning you will feel better, you usually do, I promise.

This is a whining post.. Yes, I feel like whining a bit. It is absolutely useless, I agree, but what a relief. Besides it’s pouring rain, there are thunderbolts above my head and I do not like that.

My man is away,

My toilets are blocked,

My friends are far away,

My bank account is empty…

Ain’t got no money, ain’t got no friends, ain’t got no job, ain’t got no fun!!

But,

I got my hair, I got my head
I got my
brains, I got my ears
I got my eyes, I got my nose
I got my mouth, I got
my smile
I got my tongue, I got my chin
I got my neck, I got my
boobs

I got my heart, I got my soul
I got my back, I got my sex

I
got my arms, I got my hands
I got my fingers, Got my legs
I got my feet,
I got my toes
I got my liver, Got my blood

I've got life , I've got
my freedom
I've got the life!!

What a bunch of crap!!!